Hey look.. Something new for the site! Here is the plan.  I blind play a game and then almost a week later I write up something about it.. No notes.. No going back for a refresh… Just the little bit of screenshots I got from plaything the game and what I remember. Trust me.. You don’t know how bad it’s going to get. If you think shit sucks now, You ain’t seen nothing yet. Lets do this!

Lets start this experiment… The first Victim! Wait… Game..  Abyss Odyssey Extended Dream Edition for the PlayStation 4.

So I blind started up the game, the only thing I knew was this had been on the PS3 before but I never played it. I was introduced to to this screen.. I was quickly pissed off that a stripper was a playable character but I could not select her..  What kind of cock tease is that.. Oh.. Wait.. You cheeky fuckers..

So I get the game started and surprise surprise this is a 2d side scroller.  I found myself playing as that girl from that Sony game that tanked because it had some horrible six axis controls at times… then tanked again when they made a CGI Movie.. Well I think that was her.. She had read hair.. I really don’t know what the fuck is going on but she was beating some ass..  You run into some French looking guys.. or Old Army people.. and they are trying to stop the demon creatures.. You are like ” I was born in the abyss, molded by it!”

So you jump down this hole like a bad ass mother fucker and go into the Abyss.  You start to kill shit, everything is alright.. But then you get ambushed sometimes in a fixed area. They decided to black out the area that you can not go into because having some invisible wall is fucking stupid..   Some PR should use that quote some time.. Clear the are and go deeper seems to be the name of the game.. She wants you to go deep.. To hit the bottom.. But be warned.. It gets hard and harder the deeper you go…. and then you blow your wad…

Once you do.. one of those men pop up out of no where saying ” I will protect you!”… Really… What the fuck was you doing when I was getting my ass handed to me… Well sometimes you do see these guys and they will help you but this fucker.. You become him and when this happens.. You will just die again.  He just waves around the sword in honor.. gets hit a few times and dies..

See.. Dead.. Never had a chance with his little sword.. I think the demon in the Pancho is either about to rob him or about to rape his corpse.. Anything goes in the Abyss it seems..  His other buddy is like ” Save me some!” He then turns to the TV and breaks the 4th wall… ” Start with the little one”…

So after you are dead dead, you land in this mysterious place. You can go back above ground and buy items or you can jump back into the abyss. But be warned the abyss level layout changes every time.. So you might of got down a few floors the first time and think you can do it again quickly.. Bull shit.. Unless you run.. but something at the bottom will fuck you up even quicker and you will be back as that guy again.. The game has become Demon Souls.. Look at that god damn screen shot!

At times you will run into characters that you can talk to or have items you can buy.. They are demons but neutral I guess.. Unless you hit them they are cool.. Think of them like that guy in Resident Evil 4.. but you can kill and not piss you off..  So kill away.. Get that trophy because you are more likely a trophy whore… and it will be about the only trophy you will get in this game..

You also run into this skull guy sometimes. He does say some deep stuff..  Like.. ” You could be playing this online with a friend.. but you do not have one..” and also the gem of ” You could play this with 4 friends in real life… but again.. you do not have any…”   No he does not really say this, that would be rude. Truth hurts sometimes…  Now I’m no psychiatrist, I’m no doctor with no degrees.. But it don’t take no fuckin’ scientist to figure out that there is nothing left in this game for me.

And the experiment is over! That is all I can remember.. And the funny thing is.. This isnt a review.. this is a opinion.. You got to believe me.

Until next week.. Now… Piss off..

Abyss Odyssey Extended Dream Edition Is out now on the PS4 Via the PSN for $14.99

Developed by ACE and Published by Atlus

Disclaimer! The nice people at Atlus randomly provided a code. That was nice of them…

And now a Quote that sums up everything…

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!” ”
Hunter S. Thompson