Goat Simulator: Mmore Goatz Edition for the XBOX ONE! The Mini Review?
Last week, something unthinkable happened to me. I turned on my Xbox One to actually play a game on it… Mmore Goatz…. What happened next.. Well you will have to read about it.. WARNING! The following contains strong language, Spelling/English grammar mistakes. You have been warned?
A few weeks ago ” Goat Simulator” hit PlayStation’s like a ton of bricks! It quickly became a top seller in the store and I was so excited. I had thought that the days of turning on my Xbox One for Goat fixes was over. I kindly flipped off my xbox and kicked it to the curb of being a CC/FX streaming box. Well… That all changed last week.. When it decided to turn itself on and scream at me in a demon voice… ” WE GOT GOATZ!”
It started to install ” Goat Simulator MMore Goatz Edition”… I started to curse at it.. “What kind of fucking witchcraft is this.. It just turned on and screamed at me… Thanks Microsoft!”. After awhile I started to think.. “Wait.. I have not played this… Well I played a bit of the MMO one on PC but the Goatz version is brand new to me”. I started to comfort my xbox one and give it complements. It looked up at me and started to scream ” Give me BLOOD!”.. Shit was about to get weird…
MMore Goatz is the latest bundle edition of Goat Simulator to hit consoles. Goat MMO Simulator hit PC last year as a free add-on for Goat Simulator. Around May of this year, Goatz was released as a standalone for PC.. Now this release his hitting consoles.. First for XBOX ONE and 360… This is a stand alone release. You do not need to have Goat Simulator to enjoy this.. But you should.. Because you should own Goat Simulator.. If you do not.. Why the fuck are you reading this.. Go buy fucking Goat Simulator and this.. You cheap fucking bastard..
Lets start with Goat MMO shall we? First thing… You do not need a internet connection to play this game.. It is a fake MMO.. I know some of you might be slow and think this is legit.. But this is like “Sword Art Online”.. It is all fake… this is to make you laugh.. Not like the corny shit they put in SAO.. Anyways…
You have six classes to pick from.. These are all just mutators and you can always switch between them all.. You know you want to play as a Microwave with legs! Remember to read the descriptions for each class.. READING IS HALF THE BATTLE! Once you are done… You will be placed in the world of a generic MMO..
A brand new large map is at your disposal! You can go on quest, you can eat things or just cause rampage.. Earn xp and level up to 101! Or you can just hang around and read the chat box that is constantly filling up with weird banter. Its like a real MMO or something.. But Better! You even have.. Well you will just have to play the game to find out more? Lets move on to Goatz!
In ‘Goatz” you get to play as a zombie goat.. In another brand new city… You can turn humans into zombies! Start the zombie plague! Or pretend to be on “Wipeout”. Depending on what mutators you do not have on.. You can also play in Dayz mode. This is where you have to keep health up and craft things. Think of it like that other popular game that has zombies in it.. but this one is less serious. It adds a new layer to the game but is optional.
Have I mentioned the map is large.. Well it is.. So much to explore.. Like a circus… a mall with bumper cars.. Yes you can drive fucking bumper cars. All the weirdness that you love.. It is here! You also have little events that you can do.. or just get the stuff from those events and do whatever you like. Really.. Just do whatever the hell you want because this world is a pus…Wait.. No.. I will not do that joke… You get it… Lets just wrap this up… You should just go buy the game now.. It is kinda hard to explain a game like this.. Its not like “Until Dawn” and you can see all the shitty endings on youtube.. Seriously.. What the hell.. Butterfly system really worked out great… and you people are calling it “Game of the Year”… … Goat Simulator is GOAT!
Look at that picture… Show it to your friends.. This is a thing of beauty…
The opinion part of the review?
Should you buy “Goat Simulator: Mmore Goatz Edition”… Do you not know me at all? BUY BUY BUY! It is Goat Simulator! I always will tell you to pick up Goat Simuatlor for the PC/Consoles.. It is so weird that it is great. Yes the graphics are cheap, the sound is hallow sounding and is a bit dark at times.. but it does not matter.. The fun factor is here and off the charts. For the price.. This is a steal! Go buy that fucking goat man…
Goat Simulator: Mmore Goatz Edition is out now on the XBOX ONE and Xbox 360 For $9.99
Published and Developed by Double Eleven Limited!
Disclaimer! The nice people at Double Eleven was nice and provided me a review code.. That was nice of them..
And Now a Quote that sums up everything..
“Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives… and to the “good life”, whatever it is and wherever it happens to be.” Hunter S. Thompson